Getting Dressed – Giggle Parenting Inspiration

With giggle parenting the jokes wear off. After a while they lose their giggle potential. And when difficult situations come up over and over again, we’re constantly being challenged to think of new and creative ways to get the laughter flowing.

A lot of this creativity happens in the moment, and the play we come up with there and then. Every child is different and you are the best expert on what makes your child laugh.

Still we all need some inspiration sometimes.

I’ve already covered getting dressed in this post, and this one. But I thought up this game the other day, and my daughter found it hilarious.

Having a cuddly toy to get your child dressed can be really helpful. Often when a child won’t co-operate when we ask them to do something they’ll be much more likely if it’s their favourite cuddly toy doing the persuasion.

To add laughter. Have the toy get out your child’s outfit. Then the toy tells your child that they need to get on their ‘getting dressed outfit.’ Then the toy puts on your child’s outfit.

We can act all surprised and confused saying to the toy, ‘your getting dressed outfit? what are you talking about? That’s not your outfit, that’s (insert child’s name)’s outfit! You are meant to get them dressed, not put on the clothes yourself.”

Adding giggles to the morning routine, is a wonderful way to deepen the connection with your child, and makes the rest of the day go much more smoothly.

Would you like a giggle parenting solution to your family challenge? Leave me a comment or send me a message. 

Giggle Parenting Inspiration: For Parents That Talk Too Much!

My daughter was playing with a piece of sellotape the other day. She was trying to stick it to my nose, and then my mouth. I was acting all playfully ‘frustrated,’ complaining in a light-hearted way that really got her giggling.

We were meant to be going to clean her teeth, but I decided to stay with the play when I realised that this ‘silly’ moment, actually had a lot of potential to help release feelings of powerlessness through laughter.

I kept playfully telling my daughter that I had important things to say, and taking the sellotape off, while she kept sticking the sellotape back on my mouth.

My previous posts about giggle parenting have focused on behaviour that we want to ‘fix’ in our child. But really it’s not the behaviour that is the problem. Our children’s off-track behaviour is really just a symptom of disconnection.When we connect with our children we can heal this disconnection. The behaviour gets ‘fixed’ as a side effect of this connection.

So this post comes from a different angle. A way in which we can ‘fix’ and change our own behaviour.

Ever since reading this inspiring post , How I learned to shut my mouth and why you should too from by Hand in Hand parenting instructor Julie Johnson I’ve been thinking about the importance of silence, and how we can deepen our connection with our child by giving them silence and space.

If you have a piece of sellotape to hand (that is slightly sticky rather than the kind that would be painful to take off your mouth!) then you could invite your child to play by saying in a light-hearted tone, ”I’ve got something very important to say, so I really hope you don’t use this sellotape to tape up my mouth.”

If you catch yourself nagging or talking too much and your child is rolling their eyes or sulking, you can play this. You can also invite your child to ‘zip’ up your mouth using their fingers. Then you can’t talk and just make lots of ”mmmm” sounds.

This is the perfect way to restore the power balance between you and your child!

Would you like a giggle parenting solution for your family challenge? Leave me a comment or send me a message. 

The Power Of Saying Yes

This week I was wondering why my daughter and I were feeling disconnected from each other. We’d been busy, and so much of my time was spent figuring out how to get us out the door, how to use giggles to get her to co-operate etc.

Suddenly I was realising that I was focusing so much on what to do to ‘make’ my daughter laugh, that I was forgetting about the other Hand in Hand parenting tools!

After my daughter came back from her playgroup I decided that the rest of the day would be a ‘yes’ day – a simply and powerful concept I read about on the Abundant Mama’s blog.

I felt like I’d been in a battle all week to control screentime, so the first thing I decided to do was let my daughter watch the screen for as long as she wanted. I realised that I actually do want her to get to know the feeling of having ‘too much screen,’ so that instead of me telling her why it’s important to get off the screen she can actually feel the effects for herself, and judge for herself.

After two hours my daughter came to me and asked for special time. I decided we would do a longer hour special time. We played Lego and made pretend birthday parties for each other, by wrapping up her toys.

There was not a single power struggle, simply because I’d let go of my need to control, and in it’s place came connection. We simply enjoyed each other’s company.

I think there are important times when we should set limits, that Hand in Hand covers in their free setting limits e-book. But children need us to say yes a lot of the time. When we learn how to listen, our children can release the feelings that get in the way of their thinking. Then they can actually have good judgement. We can help build, happy, confident children when we trust their thinking, and respect their choices.

Yesterday was a ‘yes’ day, and I’m thinking how I can incorporate more and more ‘yes’s’ in our lives. It’s not always easy,  life puts many constraints on us, so that we are sometimes forced to say no. But living lives with more freedom, joy and ‘yes’s’ is my aim!

The tools from Hand in Hand parenting really do work, and often what’s happening when they aren’t working is that we’re neglecting one or more of the tools. So if you’re having a challenging day, or week, you can ask yourself, which tool aren’t I using? Which one would help now?

If you’re new to Hand in Hand, you can read all about the parenting tools here. 

Want to know more about how and when to say no to children? Check out Hand in Hand parenting’s online self study course on setting limits. 

Giggle Parenting For Teeth Cleaning

With Giggle Parenting the jokes sometimes wear off and what had our child in fits of giggles a few weeks ago, won’t always be so funny. Coming up with new games isn’t always easy.

I love these three playful brushing teeth videos from Hand in Hand parenting instructor Kristen Volk. They’ve inspired me to keep trying new games and making teeth cleaning a fun and playful experience.

Today we had a flying toothbrush. I spoke in an ‘automated’ sounding voice to be the  toothbrush saying, ”We are coming into land. We need an open landing bay.” My daughter’s mouth was shut. So I said, ”oh no, the landing bay is shut! Lets try another landing bay.’ Then I’d try my mouth. And then say, ”oh no! That’s not right, that’s not the right mouth!”

Then I started saying ”we need some pearly white sparkling teeth to land on.” Then I’d realise my mistake and say, ”oh no! That’s not right! I mean we need some dirty teeth.” My daughter laughed and laughed. The teeth got cleaned easily.

If you’re in a rush to get out the door or get to bed and your child just isn’t co-operating with teeth cleaning (or anything else), it can be a struggle not to lose patience, put on a serious voice in an attempt to get them to hurry up. But try some giggle parenting, and you may find that the teeth get cleaned a lot quicker.

Would you like a Hand in Hand parenting solution for your family challenge? Leave me a comment, or use the contact form here. 

And if you’re looking to set limits, and get your child to co-operate then check out Hand in Hand parenting’s online self-study course, Setting Limits And Building Co-operation. 

Giggle Parenting To Help Your Child Fall Asleep On Their Own

Sleeping arrangements are individual to all families. I actually love sleeping cuddled up with my daughter, and would happily do so night after night. For others it works best for everyone to have their own separate bed.

However, I began to notice that bedtime was my daughter’s ‘broken cookie’; a moment of the day that had strong feelings for her. So I wanted to help her with these feelings, as I wrote about in my last post.

Listening to these feelings for us is not about setting a rigid routine of how she must fall asleep every night for the rest of her childhood. It’s about building her confidence and checking that she doesn’t have fear and anxiety coming up in everyday situations – like falling asleep.

Last night we focused on giggles and play. As she lay down to sleep in my bed. I put her toy banana in her bed reading one of my books. Then I said, ”hey! Excuse me banana, that’s my book!” I put myself in the less powerful role, which always makes her laugh.

You might have noticed that when children are feeling nervous to separate from us they call us back because they need something. Their covers are all wonky, or they need the toilet suddenly, or a drink of water.

I decided to play around with that neediness of children to call us back if they want something. I told my daughter I would leave soon, and I said in a very light, playful tone, ”and please don’t call me back if you want…. ten socks.” She laughed. I repeated the sentence again, telling her I was going to go, and then saying, ”and please don’t call me back if you…want to go bring a real-life elephant to bed.” I kept coming up with all sorts of crazy scenarios to get her laughing, like ‘please don’t call me back if you want to… go to the supermarket, eat an ice cream, go to a disco, use some Lego as a pillow etc. The sillier the scenario the better. She fell asleep quickly and easily after that.

If your child has fears around falling asleep alone, or being in their own bed you might want to add in some giggles. Each time we laugh together we are building a closer connection that our child internalises so even if we do go into the next room, they can still feel deeply connected to us.

Working on fears and anxieties around bedtime can help children sleep through the night, because those feelings are released they don’t wake them up later. It can help prevent waking too early in the morning too. Even if your child sleeps really well you may notice that when you help them with bedtime feelings they grow in confidence in other areas of their life.

Here’s my other post about this topic, Why I Helped My Daughter To Fall Asleep Alone

To learn more about helping our children sleep well check out Hand in Hand parenting’s online self-study course, Helping Young Children Sleep

Why I Helped My Daughter Feel Safe To Fall Asleep Alone

When my daughter was born we started off by co-sleeping. Our bed is pretty small so by the time she was 2 years old my back was getting sore from sleeping all squashed together. So we took the side off my daughter’s cot and had it next to our bed. I introduced the idea of falling asleep in there. She was completely happy to do so from then on.

A few months ago my daughter (now 4) had to go to the doctor to get a blood test. The night before she got really upset and scared. She fell asleep clinging to me.

The blood test ended up being much more painful than either of us anticipated, and at the time she didn’t feel safe enough to express her fear or pain at the time.

For the next couple of months she would only fall asleep next to me in our bed. Later we would move her into her bed.

Now I absolutely loved falling asleep with my daughter cuddled up and close. Because she’s a night owl, and I love to go to bed early we tended to fall asleep at the same time around 930pm.

But, I also had my suspicions that this need to fall asleep close to me was a pretext that was about emotions related to the doctor and the blood test. For two years she’d been perfectly happy falling asleep in her own bed. Even before that, (around 18 months) she’d naturally turn away from me to fall asleep, as if making a little space and distance for herself.

I was also noticing some changes in my daughter’s behaviour. She started waking early, which was really out of character. Ever since I’d used the Hand in Hand parenting approach to help her sleep through the night she’d always slept really well. Now if I took a shower or came into our bedroom to get something, she’d wake up.

As well as being clingy around the house I also noticed another change when we were out in public. She became very fearful around other children she didn’t know. If we went to a playground she would avoid the slide or the roundabout if there were other children using them. If playgrounds were full of lots of children, she just wouldn’t want to play at all.

We’d always been happy sleeping in one room and it suits our family as we live in a small apartment and it’s just the three of us. And if we had a big enough bed, I would happily co-sleep as it works for us.

But I began to see that letting my daughter fall asleep close to me every single night, wasn’t actually serving her. We may have been physically close, but I wasn’t listening deeply to the emotional struggles she was having, or making the space to hear them. She wasn’t able to lead a full and happy life when she wasn’t getting enough sleep, and was having fear triggered in everyday situations like the playground.

I wanted to help her release the fear that was making her feel scared to sleep in her own bed. I started with a bit of laughter. I started saying, I was going to lift her into her own bed. So I picked up my pillow, and tucked it into her bed. Then suddenly realising my mistake, I’d say, ”oh, hang on that’s not R, that’s my pillow!” I repeated it with lots of soft toys, and got some giggles flowing.

Then I realised that there wasn’t much I could do to get my daughter to fall asleep in her own bed other than physically move her. I didn’t want to do that. I knew she’d been in situations where she’d felt physical overwhelmed and powerless, and that physically force would not be a way to help her overcome this.

So I let her stay in my bed, and I began to tell her that I was going to leave the room and let her fall asleep by herself. She started to cry. I reassured her that she would be completely safe, and that I’d just be in the next room. I reassured her that I absolutely loved falling asleep cuddled up to her, and that I was doing this because I wanted to help her with her feelings. I told her that after I’d listened to the feelings we could have lots of nights, falling asleep cuddled up together. I told her that I wouldn’t leave her if she was crying, that we would wait until she was ready. I kept gradually trying to leave, moving a few cm’s further each time, and then coming back to stay with her when she got upset. I listened to three big cries, on three different nights with lots of cuddles, gradually trying to leave.

Then I noticed the changes. Within one night, she wasn’t waking early anymore, and was sleeping deeply, getting the right amount of sleep. That first morning she woke up and wasn’t clingy anymore. She played with her Lego by herself while I took a shower saying, ”I’m 4 and a half now. I can play by myself.”

She started being more adventurous physically. When we were on some escalators one day, she started walking to the top by herself (whereas before she would have always held my hand). When we went out with her scooter, she started trying going down hills for the first time. And when we went to the park she was happy to play alongside other children, smiling and glad to have their company. When one child was in the way, she said excuse me to them in Swiss German, rather than feeling like she had to be the one to get out of the way.

I think many of us (myself included!) can worry that separating at bedtime may be upsetting for young children. I wanted to write my story to show that when we stay close and work through the feelings, we can deepen our connection to our children and build their confidence.

Children thrive on physical closeness. But they also need to have emotional closeness. To be securely attached a child needs to internalise a deep sense of connection so that they can feel safe to venture out and explore their world. It could be to play on a roundabout  by themselves, or go on a playdate.

Fears and upsets can get in the way of that sense of connection to us, in effect our child clings to us, because they need an extra big dose of connection. Sometimes setting a limit and listening, is the most helpful thing we can do to our child, to help them release the upsets  that stand in the way of internalising that sense of connection.

All families have their own sleeping arrangements that work for them. It’s always good to trust your instincts about what your child needs at any particular time in their life.

Is there an area of your child’s life where they seem stuck or fearful? For example perhaps they can only be with mummy at bedtime, or they have to fall asleep with a pacifier (dummy). These may be places where you can set a limit and listen. The next day your child might surprise you in the ways they grow and shine, and can be their most confident, adventurous selves.

You might want to read this article too, Moving Your Child To His Own Bed To Sleep and Helping Children Conquer Their Fears. 

Reader Question – For A Toddler That Wakes Multiple Times A Night

Dear Kate,

I’m struggling with my 22 month old son, who has a very  busy brain and wakes between 2 and 7 times a night. At first it was colic then he had hip issues. Now it’s dreams and hunger and general wanting to chat. From ‘E’

Dear E,

I’m sorry that you’re still dealing with so many wake-ups. One of the wonderful things about Hand in Hand parenting is that there’s a lot we can do in the daytime to help our child sleep well, and we can help improve our child’s sleep without using the cry-it-out approach.

One of the most common reasons that children wake is because they are experiencing stress and tension, and they are trying to process feelings. Children experience sleep as a separation so often when upset feelings bubble to the surface they wake up seeking connection to us.

Using all the Hand in Hand parenting tools described in this post can naturally help our children to sleep better. So it’s definitely worth reading the Hand in Hand booklets and implementing them as much as you can.

Sometimes children’s sleep issues are rooted in their early life. If they had a difficult birth, or they had a difficult start or lots of medical intervention, or separation early in life, they can need an extra big dose of connection to help them recover. Toddlers may use asking for things in the night such as food, as a pretext for deeper feelings they need to heal from.

Babies are born with an inbuilt way to release stress and tension, and naturally improve their sleep – crying. However it’s really common for us to get confused about our children’s crying. Most of us were never told about this natural healing process, so we may not recognise the times our child needs to cry to heal from upsets. We may stop them by distracting or avoiding tantrums when actually our child just needs to cry.

All we need to do to help our child sleep well, is simply let go of our need to control or manage their emotions. When we make space to listen to them, they will naturally be able to relax and sleep well through the night.

Staylistening is the tool, we can use to listen to upsets whenever they arise. If we can stay close and listen to our child, when there is nothing to fix, then they can naturally release the feelings that get in the way of their sleep.

Using special time (1-1 time spent with our children doing what they love) can help deepen your connection with your child, so that they internalise a sense of having you ‘there.’ This can mean they are less likely to wake, because it deepens their sense of safety and security. You might want to try some special time first thing in the morning, or as part of your child’s bedtime routine.

Laughter is the second way we naturally release stress and tension from our bodies. Playlistening means any kind of laughter play where our child is in the powerful role. This builds their confidence and sense of security. Lots of laughter throughout the day, can help them to release any tension that may come up at night if it’s not released in the day.

Hand in Hand parenting is based on the idea that our children are naturally good, loving and co-operative. Where does your child struggle? Where are they not co-operative? If you can find those moments and add some laughter, you are not only helping their ability to co-operate, you are also building the connection they need to sleep well. Take a look at this list of ten typical challenging moments for parents of toddlers, and try out some of the playlistening suggestions.

Allow lots of time and space for your children’s feelings in the day. So if for example your child throws a tantrum when you need to leave the house to meet a friend, see if you can send apologies to them and listen to the feelings rather than rushing out. This means the feelings are less likely to arise at night.

And if you try all this and your son is still waking. Have a read of the following sleep related articles, and see if they help too.

5 Sleep Secrets For Peaceful Nights 

Helping Young Children Sleep 

Still need some sleep help? Check out Hand in Hand parenting’s online self study course, Helping Young Children Sleep 

Would you like a Hand in Hand parenting solution to your parenting challenge? Leave me a comment or use the contact form here. 

Silly Stories For Separation Anxiety

My mum is staying at the moment, and last night my daughter got very over-excited showing off to granny! When it was her usual bedtime she was really hyperactive and talking non-stop and finding it really hard to relax.

I started telling more silly stories like these ones, to help her relax, and wind down. I began to tell her about the next day, when I’d be going out to lunch with a friend, and granny would be looking after her. I suspected my daughter might be feeling a bit nervous (as well as excited!) about this upcoming separation.

I had granny make lots of mistakes just like we do in real life playlistening. They had planned to go on a bike ride, but then I had granny get in a boat instead, thinking that it was a bike.

Then I would have my daughter get granny’s phone, and call me up in the restaurant, and tell me everything was going wrong. I would answer the phone making chewing noises, before being able to talk. After our phone conversation I would then fly back in a plane from the rooftop of the restaurant and land on our balcony at home. Then I could sort out whatever silly situation granny had got into.

I had the granny tell my daughter they were going to a park with some balls, and then have her go to the supermarket and get eggs and throw them around. Then granny said they were going on a treasure hunt, and she ended up picking rubbish out of a bin and saying it was treasure. I had granny get the entire contents of the kitchen cupboards, fridge and freezer onto the floor of the kitchen, and say that it was Lego bricks. She would take a chocolate biscuit, and say, ”mmm this Lego tastes delicious!”

Each time something silly happened my daughter would phone me at the restaurant and I would come back to sort things out.

My daughter laughed a lot, and even told me, ”this is helping me calm down.” After a while she was yawning and fell asleep easily.

Silly stories are great to tell about any upcoming separation. We can release any feelings of nervousness or anxiety through laughter. We can also build connections with our child, and reassure them (for example my daughter was in a powerful role because she could use the phone to get in contact with me so I could sort things out).

You could make up silly stories about anything. Have your child be in the more powerful role, and have some silly adults that make mistakes just like in playlistening. Root the stories in the everyday life your child knows well, but have events take an unusual twist. Catch an aeroplane to playgroup, drive a flying car or go in a secret underground tunnel. Turn your child’s worries and difficulties in life, into a story where they get to be the powerful one. Experiment with using silly stories to build your child’s confidence and release fear and tension through laughter.

What silly stories made your child laugh? I’d love to hear in the comments below 🙂 

Would you like some silly story suggestions to help with your child’s challenges? Leave me a comment or use my contact form here. 

The Listening Cure For Exhaustion

Feeling stressed out and exhausted? Could simply being listened to refuel your energy and zest for parenting? 

Even before becoming a parent I was no stranger to extreme fatigue. While studying at university I caught the flu one January which turned into chronic fatigue syndrome. I spent 6 months at home, unable to concentrate on studying or doing much.

Although I recovered I often find myself having bouts of tiredness, and needing to rest more than the average person. However I have found some ways to deal with it.

In my mid-twenties when my life was undergoing many changes, I would often find myself spending long amounts of time lying in bed at the weekend, which I blogged about in this post.

I liked to journal a lot, and one day I discovered that if I journaled about my thoughts and feelings, my energy would come back much quicker than if I simply rested. I did yoga and was really interested in the mind-body connection. Over time I found that writing with an awareness of my body, helped me access my emotions, and release them. Then my energy was restored. It was amazing!

Shortly after that I found a book called Opening Up: The Healing Power Of Expressing Emotions by psychologist James Pennebaker. He conducted a famous study where participants were asked to write for 15 minutes on 4 separate occasions on the most upsetting event of their lives. He followed the participants up six months later, and found that those who wrote about upsetting events not only felt happier, they also went to the doctor less than those who simply wrote about mundane topics. Processing our emotions, can make us happier and healthier.

When I discovered Hand in Hand parenting I was stressed out and exhausted like most parents. Then I discovered listening partnerships (exchanges where two parents talk and listen to each other). I was amazed that even just 10 minutes of being listened could restore my physical energy. That the exhaustion I felt was not an inevitable part of parenting.  It had an emotional component that I could release and feel much better.

It makes sense really. Our bodies and minds are intertwined, and there’s lots of research that stress and emotional upset can cause physical conditions.

Because tiredness has always been such a big issue for me, I’ve also worked more in-depth on this topic in my listening time. Sometimes it’s been powerful just to rest with the warm attention of my listening partner. To have a few quiet moments, when I’m not doing, but just being.

I remember Patty Wipfler saying that if there’s somewhere we want to get to in our lives, simply stating where we want to be in our listening time, is a powerful way to shed the feelings that stand in the way. So one day my listening partner gave me the direction to stand up, to stretch my arms wide, and to say, ”I’m so full of energy!” with lots of enthusiasm.

When I did this, a lot of strong feelings came up. I began saying, ”No!” and I suddenly realised that part of me didn’t want to be full of energy. I had the urge to curl up and protect myself. I kept trying the direction, as more and more strong emotions poured out. As my listening partner encouraged me, I realised how much energy I did have, tangled up in these feelings.

I had the insight that my tiredness had been a coping mechanism, a way to deal with heavy emotions, to hide away, rather than face them. As I expressed my fear of saying, ”I’m so full of energy,” it gradually became easier to say it.

Although I still love to write, I no longer journal about my emotions much. I find that being listened to by another loving human being is so much more powerful than being alone with my thoughts on the page. I really needed a listener, somebody who would make a space for those feelings. Someone whose brain was in a calm, relaxed state, who could accept and welcome all my emotions.

Nowadays when i get tired, I don’t just think ”I need to rest.” I also think ”I need listening time.” And often just being listened to for a few minutes can turn around my exhaustion.

If you’re feeling exhausted, it could of course be that you’re sleep-deprived. Sometimes listening time can help us clear our minds, and help us find the strength to figure out how everyone in the family can get a good night’s sleep. And Hand in Hand has some great tools for that! 

Your exhaustion could be because there is a physical cause, such as being low in vitamins, or iron, so getting a check-up at the doctor is always a good idea.

As well as taking care of the physical aspects. Listening time can offer a way out of exhaustion, and we can parent with more lightness and joy.

Try this :Are you feeling exhausted? Find a friend or listening partner and exchange time talking and listening to each other. Vent about how exhausted you feel. Take a few minutes to rest. And if your tiredness is an ongoing challenge try exclaiming ”I’m so full of energy!” and see what thoughts and feelings come up.

For more info about listening partnerships, you can read Hand in Hand’s listening partnership booklet, or check out their online self study course

Would you like to find a listening partner? Join the facebook group Hand in Hand parent’s support to connect with other parents. 

Reader Question – Separation Anxiety

Dear Kate,

My little boy is 2 and every now and then decides that for 5 minutes he’s terrified of one of his loved ones. He can be excited for papa coming home then when papa walks in the door he runs away screaming in hysterical terror. Or be playing with my parents happily. Then suddenly refuse to even look at them and starts acting “scared.”

He can cry for me in the mornings then when I open the door flee bashing into walls and screaming in terror. He’s rarely out of my sight. I would never hurt him nor would anyone else. He’s been treated with nothing but love and has no reason to fear these people. He’s not shy by nature but very confident.

And 90% of the time adores his family. Then this. It’s hard not to be hurt. I don’t know why he does it or what to do. I’ve tried making a game but he gets more hysterical. Tried kissing it away but he needs space, and attacks me. It does pass after a few minutes but it’s not good for anyone while it lasts as he runs into things and could hurt himself. Any advice gratefully received, From ‘E’

Dear ‘E,’

thanks for your message. It sounds like your son is experiencing sudden bursts of separation anxiety. Often our children use normal, everyday safe situations, to ‘pin’ their fears on them, so they can have the chance to express and heal from them. It can seem strange to us when our child has a great relationship with their father/grandparents etc.

Separation anxiety is a normal part of all children’s development. It can also be related to

our child’s early life, and if they experienced any stress or difficulties.  For example stress in pregnancy, a difficult birth, or medical intervention that involved separating from the parents, even for a brief time can cause strong separation anxiety.

Hand in Hand parenting has five tools that can all be used to strengthen connection with our children and that can help reduce separation anxiety. Reading the Hand in Hand parenting booklet set, and putting all these tools into practise can really help.

As you noticed play in the moment of upset didn’t work. So I’d focus on staying with whatever emotion comes up for your son in that moment (rather than trying to shift away from that emotion). So if he’s crying or angry just try staying close, and listening to the upset. This can help your son to process the feelings behind his outbursts. This is the Hand in Hand parenting tool of staylistening.

Here is a story about when my husband came home from work, and my daughter was suddenly afraid of him. She was much younger than your son, but the listening principles are still the same.

At other times when your son is happy or fine, and in a playful mood you might want to try some of these playful games games to heal separation anxiety.

 You might also like to read this article Helping Children Conquer Their Fears.

I hope this helps. Feel free to get in touch, and let me know how it goes!

Would you like a Hand in Hand parenting solution for your family challenge? Leave me a comment or use the contact form here.